When A Man Cancels A Date The Day Of, Here Is Your New Plan

Nothing is worse than a guy canceling your date at the last minute. You wake up, go about your day thinking about what you’re going to wear to the date, the conversation topics you want to talk about, how you finally get to meet in person, and all of a sudden, you get a text:

I can’t tell you how much I see this happen as a dating coach. People are canceling dates all the time. It’s so frequent, and from what I know about the dating culture today and how men are, I think people cancel dates for many reasons:

• I had no intention of dating in the first place. You’d be shocked at how many men want attention and pen pals. They do not intend to meet you and just want pics on their phone. 

• It’s early on, so if he doesn’t feel like going to the date, he won’t. Men have no integrity today. There is no accountability. They don’t care what they said on a Tuesday about having a date Saturday. If Saturday comes around and they don’t want to go, they won’t. 

• Not only is it early on, but he has options. Today, there isn’t as severe consequences for screwing people over like there was back then. If you two haven’t met or just started talking and he cancels a date and shit hits the fan, it’s not the end of the world for either of you. You can move on to another guy if you don't like it. If you move on to another guy, he will talk to another girl. 

What’s The New Gameplan?

Maybe I am just a cynical coach, but I believe there are so many motives behind people’s intentions with dating that it’s sickening. The more you study people and psychology, the more you’d hate humanity (trust me lol).

A popular quote I say often is:

This quote has never done me wrong. 

I also know that there are good people in the world who have good intentions. They may be giving you a real reason. If that’s the case, our new game plan is simple:

Here is what this looks like:

• When he cancels, I just want you to say one phrase, “No problem. Thanks for letting me know. We can raincheck. Get back to me when you have something planned.”

• By saying “we can raincheck,” you are framing that you still demand a date and not throwing it off to the side. When you say, “Get back to me when you know your schedule,” you’re putting the ball in his court.

• When/if he reaches out and doesn’t have a date (he just reaches out tomorrow and says “good morning,” for example), acknowledge what he says, have a very short back and forth, and then say, “Did you have a chance to figure out your schedule?” This holds him accountable. 

• If he says, “No,” then you want to rinse and repeat, “Ok, no problem. I am about to walk out the door. Get back to me when you have something planned. Have a great day!” Just keep doing that until he either plans or you’re tired of his crap and are done.

Ladies, you have to understand men love pulling this crap. They think they can dismiss things to beat around the bush and keep talking to you. If you want to a date, get a date. If he can’t give you that, move on to the next guy. Don’t entertain him. There needs to be a consequence for his actions. 

Another quote I often say is:

In this scenario, you must uphold the structure by holding him accountable. If you don’t, he will negotiate your value by not taking you on dates but still wanting your attention.

If you’d love to work with me and discuss your specific situation in an hour-long deep session, click the link here. I’d love to work with you.