My 5 Step Filter Process To Get Rid Of Emotionally Unavailable Men

This is the foundation filtering process I want you to use. We can always create more or build on top of this. However, mastering this is your core. This NEVER steers me wrong if I follow it and set emotions aside.

Nothing is worse than wasting your time and energy on someone who can’t give you anything in return. They drain you. They take everything from you and leave you with nothing.

It’s exhausting, and it’s all because you wanted to give this guy a shot. Or better yet, you didn’t do your homework and filter him correctly.

If you’re a woman who is afraid/tired of:

• Getting hurt

• Wasting her time

• Getting played

• Opening up

• Being strung along

My 5-step filtering process will help you save tons of time dating the wrong men.

If you’re interested in full access to me and getting into a relationship as fast as possible, check out my community here!

The 5-Step Process To Filter Men

Here are some things to know about this filtering process:

• These steps stack. Meaning, he has to pass all of them! I don’t care if he passes a majority of them. He has to pass all unless you decide to make an executive decision and feel it’s okay to continue.

• Emotions must be put aside. I am not saying I want you to be robotic, devoid of emotion. I want you to understand how biased we are when emotions are involved. When you go through the steps and he fails, look at it logically and then try to work through the matter. If you feel you’re using emotions such as, “But I like him,” you must stop and not move forward until you fix it logically.

• It isn’t your job to fix, justify, or help him. Women wonder why they keep attracting men or getting in the same situations. It’s because they have a leaky filter. They will see a problem but help the guy “bypass her security” by justifying his actions, such as saying he’s busy and tired, as the reasons why he’s not making an effort.

Step One: Ask him what he’s looking for from the VERY BEGINNING.

I know this sounds like common sense, and you may think it’s a weak first step, but you must do this. Here are a few reasons why:

• If he does lie about it, at least you know he’s in the wrong and a piece of shit. This is much better than waiting 4 weeks to discuss it, when you can’t hold him accountable because you never had the conversation to begin with.

• It’s better to frame it so that you two are working towards a relationship rather than “going with the flow.” Men get free range if there is no structure.

• There is no confusion (as of now) about what this is or what we’re looking for. Confusion will only arise when one of you changes their mind and no longer seeks a relationship. This is when we address it.

Step Two: Do your “detective work.”

“ Doing your detective work” is a phrase I coined that essentially means looking at his dating history.

There are three things I am trying to find out in particular, as they are the most common variables I see in men who are emotionally unavailable and don’t commit. Those things are:

• One: How long has he been single? Something isn’t adding up if he’s single too long (3 years or longer) and says he wants a relationship. Trust me, it’s not “I haven’t found the right girl.” On top of that, if he’s been single for that long, the odds that you’re the girl to come in and change that are extremely rare

• Two: Was he cheated on in his last relationship? Men who were cheated on in their previous relationship rarely commit to the following women they’re dating. More often than not, this man is emotionally unavailable and thinks getting the benefits of a relationship without actually being in one is better.

• Three: Has he ever had a serious long-term relationship? If you’re talking to a guy in his 30s and he’s never had a serious relationship or a guy in his 40s who has never been engaged, you won’t get anything out of these men. Again, there are reasons I ask these three questions. I see them come up time and time again as patterns of men who don’t commit.

If you want to dive deeper into things that matter less but are still important, you can look at what I call the “logistics.”

• How far apart do you live? More than an hour, statistically, chances go down (that’s an actual stat).

• How did he answer the “What are you looking for?” question? Only accept, “I want a relationship/am looking for something serious.”

• His dating experience. Too much or too little is a bad sign. Men with too little but are starting to date women will want to keep dating. On the other hand, if he has too much and is still single, he will want to keep dating.

Step Three: Is he consistently investing his resources over time?

You probably discovered that men are good at lovebombing, or at least front-running their efforts. For the first month, they’re good at showing you that they’re a great guy until you’re hooked.

There are two reasons why men do this:

• One is that they’re emotionally unavailable and trying to fill a void. Men who are insecure and trying to fill voids are always moving faster.

• The second reason is to avoid the risk of over-investing in a woman who either won’t give him the “rewards” for investing or for a woman he doesn’t see long-term.

It’s a common strategy between the sexes that men will want to speed up the courting stage until they get to the “after sex” stage, and then slow it down, while women want to slow down the courting stage and speed up the “after sex” stage, and rush to a relationship.

This is why one of the strategies I recommend for women is to play a slower game and wait for a man to invest consistently. Any man can play the game for several weeks. But it gets more challenging for a man to play it consistently over time.

It’s crazy how fast men flip, and you have to consider if he ever liked you in the first place.

NOTE: Emotionally unavaible men have this “halfway point” where context builds up and they start getting in their heads. Do NOT fall for anything (or do anything with a man) in the first month. He has no idea what he wants the first month if he’s EU (trust me). Just go on dates and filter the guy.

Here is why:

I post this in a lot of my articles but it’s crucial to understand. Most men, no matter what they want are going to court you to some extent early on. You don’t see their true colors until after a month once context builds and they start adapting and feeling comfortble. Play the slow game!

Step Four: How are the ratios of going out and staying in looking?

Men should be taking you out more than staying inside and going to each other’s houses.

If you have men cutting corners to reach your assets instead of investing, we have a problem. You probably have a guy who is either:

• Not taking you seriously

• Taking you for granted

• Not wanting a relationship

To be clear: a man can cut corners and still want a relationship. However, it’s not a good sign that he is cutting corners.

As I said, it’s in our nature, so don’t automatically cut him out. But the way I look at it is:

This is a question many of my clients can’t answer, and then they wonder why they’re in the situation they’re in. If the ratios benefit them, you’re staying in and hooking up much more than he is courting you; someone has to pay that cost. Usually, that’s the woman.

This is a crucial step to understand, as it layers well with the rest: Men who want relationships tend to invest consistently and take the woman off the market. There is nothing wrong with staying in and hooking up. But unless you feel like a couple, he needs to keep taking you out and take you off the market.

If you want actual numbers, it depends on where you are in the situationship to figure out the ratios.

• Don’t ever let it be utterly one-sided in terms of staying in

• The beginning should be him courting you and taking you out

• He has to EARN the reward of staying in

• Please don’t sleep with him before five dates.

Step Five: Have “the talk” at eight weeks

Women don’t like it when I say this or don’t believe me, but it’s true:

Yes, that’s right! Men know already what category you’re in. Can you change categories? Sure, but it’s unlikely. The reason for this is that many of the things men look for are found on their first or second date. Those things include:

• looks

• personality/humor

• Interest

• chemistry

Men are that simple. That’s all men look for in the beginning. Of course, there are layers and depth to this, but for the most part, this is what a man is looking for and finds out very early on. The other 7 weeks are about a man just going with the flow and waiting patiently, so he doesn’t make hasty or impulsive decisions.

The reason I am telling you this is that you must talk about transitioning towards a relationship at 8 weeks if you’re still talking within a situational relationship. If you don’t, you’re going to get taken advantage of.

If you’re not in a relationship after two months, the odds of you getting into a healthy relationship at three months decrease, and it starts to decrease as time goes on.

For those who think I am crazy for saying this, look at it from a male advantageous standpoint:

What many women fail to realize is that if a man isn’t thinking this and he’s keeping you on the market, it’s for several reasons:

• He’s unsure about you. If a guy is uncertain after two months, you might as well walk away.

• He’s not afraid of losing you. That means you did so much to convince him you’re not going anywhere that he doesn’t have to decide.

• He’s not afraid of the competition. Like the previous point, you showed him so much interest that he knows you’re not talking to anyone else, so he doesn’t have to worry about taking you off the market.

Again, If you’re interested in full access to me and getting into a relationship as fast as possible, check out my community here!