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Dating Dose: The Best 5-Step Filter To See If Men Are Serious About You.

Author

Elliot Scott
June 20, 2025

“Filtering isn’t about making him prove his worth—it’s about making sure he’s not a liability to yours.”

I am going to keep this short and simple because I do believe filtering men is easy if you don’t overthink it. Too many people put emotions into it which blind them of red flags.

Step One: Ask what he’s looking for.

Can he be lying? Sure, but you want to frame that what you two are working towards is a relationship. Nothing is worse than bringing it up later and him getting out of it for free by saying, “I was just going with the flow.”

Step Two: Figure out these things

  • When was your last relationship/how long have you been single?

  • Were you cheated on?

  • What’s your longest relationship?

  • Have you ever been in a relationship?

Newly single men, haven’t been in a relationship in over 3 years yet been looking, men who were cheated on, never had long relationships, or never been in a relationship are VERY unlikely to commit. Not matter what they tell you.

Step Three: Take everything with a grain of salt

Go past what I call the “halfway point.” All men can act and tell you what they want to hear when their emotional unavailability hasn’t surfaced. It only surfaces once the context and the relationship build. Then they get in their head and pull away. This is around the 4-6 date mark.

Step Four: Check for consistency.

If he’s not consistent, he’s out. That means at least one date a week and texting 5+ days a week. Men who aren’t consistent aren’t afraid of losing you.

Step Five: 8-week mark.

If you’re talking to a guy for 8 weeks and he’s not your boyfriend, it's time to talk. Men know by this time and are on borrowed time after 8 weeks. Don’t let it go past 10 weeks. Trust me, men know by that point.

What you can do with this: Make sure emotions do not blind you. This 5-step process is VERY accurate and has never let me down. Slowly introduce it into the men you’re dating, where it doesn’t feel like an interrogation. 

If you’re serious about dating and want more depth over a situation, you can work with me here.

Take care, everyone!